Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
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