God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
