its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Randomize
