so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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