Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
