at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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