i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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