Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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