you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
