Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
he quoted the bible to break up with me
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize