theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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