apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
