watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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