There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
