i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
