It's like God shit irony all over that family
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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