i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
