No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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