we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
