He asked to "fluff my boner.."
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
