Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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