yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I have aggressive nipples.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
