My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
