My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
