I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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