He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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