My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
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