In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
