Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
