You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
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