This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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