i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
So I just went to clothing optional bar
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
