So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
