# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
