I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
