you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
