Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
