I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Sponge bath it is.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Randomize
