I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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