he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
