...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
