I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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