Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Randomize
