If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
