the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
