2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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