Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Im part way to drunk.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize