I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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