Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
did i just pee glitter
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
