I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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