so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
