I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
