my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I want you more than these girls want KFC
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
how drunk are you?
Several
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Randomize
