Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Randomize
