You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
