Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
