): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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