it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
they need to just BURY HIM!
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Randomize
