Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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