what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
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