Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
