Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Randomize
