no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
