I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
