We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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